Let’s Talk Black Sails Episode XXIX

Posted on February 13, 2017 by admin

This post ended up less a recap/dissection and more a reflection on an important death.

Avast! Spoilers ahead. Be warned.

I thoroughly enjoyed Ray Stevenson’s portrayal of Blackbeard. He didn’t take it over the top and grounded was has become a historical legend shrouded in mystery and conflated imagery. Blackbeard’s origins (his early life before becoming a pirate) is still unclear and some books refer to him as Thatch instead of Teach, but most have settled on Teach. Of all the pirates, he stands out as the most colorful and one of the most powerful. And he was. (Bartholomew “Black Bart” Roberts was another very formidable pirate. His story is very interesting.) Blackbeard commanded three vessels at one point, and his flagship, The Queen Anne’s Revenge, was a true ship of force. As I’ve mentioned before, he blockaded Charles Town’s (Charleston) harbor for two weeks in demand of medication for syphilis (the treatment of which was a nasty affair that involved mercury injections in very painful places. Let’s take a moment to praise modern medicine.)

Overall I swallow the show’s take on Blackbeard’s death in this episode because it fit the story they were telling. I have taken issues with shows that change events or characters when it’s gratuitous and completely in service to the plot. They did commit the stupid plot sin somewhat which I discuss below but I can take the bitter pill. But let’s discuss Blackbeard’s true death, which was a monumental takedown. Blackbeard was killed by Lt. Robert Maynard, which was orchestrated by Governor Spotswood of Virginia, who clearly had his own agendas and had his eyes set on enveloping North Carolina into his Virginia territory. Spotswood had some real beefs with Governor Eden of North Carolina, who may or may not have colluded with Blackbeard on illegally obtained goods. But once again, I digress. Blackbeard and his crew were anchored at Ocracoke Inlet, thirty miles south of Cape Hatteras. Maynard commanded two sloops with no cannon, but men prepared for battle while Blackbeard and his crew had spent the night drinking. I believe someone could make a good movie focusing on the battle and the lead up. Maynard and Blackbeard faced off and Maynard noted in his account of the battle, that Blackbeard fell with five shot in him and 20 dismal cuts in several parts of his body.

The man was truly awesome. Maynard then strung Blackbeard’s head on his bowsprit which he presented to Governor Spotswood.

So my major issue? I’ve read many a tome on pirates in researching my pirate historicals and in no book, even one focusing on pirate tactics, weapons, etc., does it mention any pirate rowing over to a vessel in order to board (on open seas) for the very reason shown on Black Sails. Not to mention you’d be exposing yourself to musket and cannon fire. In order to board safely and effectively and with your full contingent at your back, pirates would guide their vessels alongside, usually amidships position, and let fly the grappling hooks and then board. It just didn’t make sense that Blackbeard, a master tactician, would board Roger’s vessel by rowing over in jollys.

To illustrate, when Maynard came in range of Blackbeard’s vessel, Blackbeard and his crew tossed over grenades and let loose musket shot, and like in Black Sails, killed nearly everyone on deck. And note the following, taken from The Republic of Pirates by Colin Woodard, “When the smoke lifted, The Jane’s (one of Maynard’s sloops) deck was covered with bodies. In just a few seconds, twenty-one of Maynard’s crew had been killed or wounded. Only two men were still standing on the sloop’s deck. The battle, Blackbeard concluded, was won. He ordered the Adventure to come alongside the Jane and for his men to prepare to board.” Let’s emphasize, he ordered the Adventure to come alongside the Jane and for his men to prepare to board.

Maybe I missed some piece of dialog that sort of explained the fictional Blackbeard’s rationale but even so, no reason conjured by the show’s writers would justify an obviously idiotic move…that pirates understood to be idiotic. Now I’m going to have to refer back to my reference book on pirate tactics to see if boarding by jolly while on the open sea is even mentioned. While in port, pirates did conduct what they called surprizals. They would row up to a vessel in the cover of night and stealth board it. In fact, in season two of Black Sails, Charles Vane killed Ed Low and his crew via a surprizal. But a surprizal is conducted under a totally different scenario and makes sense when trying to take a vessel while at port.

Now to give the show some credit, Maynard did order some men to hide in the Jane’s hold and await his signal and when Blackbeard and his crew boarded, Maynard’s men rushed from their hiding positions to attack, much like they portrayed the scene in Black Sails but this time, under Woodes Rogers. But unlike the portrayal on Black Sails, Blackbeard and his crew were done in by Maynard because Maynard had ambushed them with more men, taking a hung over pirate crew completely by surprise. In the show, for Woodes Rogers to pull off what he did with a fully prepared, outfitted and competent Blackbeard, well, I guess their excuse was they left half their crew behind, because they rowed to Rogers’s vessel which, well, whatever.

The keel hauling was gruesome. I hate keel hauling and didn’t need to see that. Neither did Jack Rackham and Anne Bonny. (Thank god the show spared us seeing Jack get keel hauled. I would have lost it along with Anne.) It showed us however that Blackbeard is badass. Yet, I don’t think the real Blackbeard ever keel hauled anyone. I’ve mentioned this in posts before, but Blackbeard never killed a captive or no accounts exist of him killing a captive. And once released, pirate captives talked they did to claim their own fifteen minutes of fame.

So as to the other events, it was great to see Flint and Silver reunited and loved to see them take over Nassau. Ha. Max eat crow. You will once again depend on Silver for your life. Next episode should be exciting, what with Eleanor holed up in the fort. If the pirates are smart, they will keep the English flags flying when Rogers comes sailing back into port but who knows because you know, Blackbeard rowed.

Black Sails XXX recap

Posted on February 6, 2017 by admin

When I began watching season one of Black Sails with delight, relishing the sights, sounds, the grime, the snarl, seeing Charles Vane and others come to life, I wasn’t sure what to expect from the show. Certainly, I wanted the broadsides and spectacle, and while we got some of that, what we mostly got was the slow build, establishing character, motivations, and back story. Psha! What madness was that? Yet now, when the show gives us Billy Bones vs Flint, it resonates! Movie and tv writers take note. You can’t rush the versus…Batman vs Superman anyone? Ugh. But I won’t even start with that fiasco. I mean hell, even Warner Brothers cartoons got it right. Who wouldn’t have shed a tear at the untimely demise of our beloved Wily E. Coyote after so many close calls?

It was sad to see Billy, the righteous, fail so spectacularly. The raid of the Underhill plantation was heartbreaking for our beloved bilge rats and showed just how dastardly the plantation owners were, but I guess enslaving an entire race has its consequences, no? There were many slave uprisings in the Caribbean and when the slave population outnumbered the colonial population, well, seems a forgone conclusion. But separating families to take them out in the case of a revolt is truly abhorrent and for all of Flint’s faults, he thankfully recognized the futility of the situation and heeded Madi’s counsel. (He may not kill her after all.) Flint has displayed arrogance and irrationality (the “it”) in the past, (killing Gates, sigh) but no one can fault the man for his skill in manipulation and strategy. He is cunning as hell, and others have learned that lesson to their detriment, note Dufrense in this recap http://wp.me/p3aUdm-iI

Pirate History Check. But let’s talk Israel Hands!!! He dragged Silver off at the end of the last episode. Israel Hands has taken on many personas. He is featured in Treasure Island, but the real Israel Hands was Blackbeard’s boatswain. I mentioned him in a previous post here, http://wp.me/p3aUdm-lO, recounting how Blackbeard shot him in the knee. Hands had served on Blackbeard’s crew a long time and may have colluded with Blackbeard to run aground his ship, The Queen Anne’s Revenge, off Beaufort Inlet. Some speculate Blackbeard did it on purpose in order to break up his fleet and crew and take off with what spoils he could. Many of his crew were left stranded in Beaufort. After Blackbeard’s death, in their attempt to discredit Governor Eden of North Carolina (Eden colluded with Blackbeard, offered him a pardon, and may have benefitted from the association, or at least, that is certainly what Governor Spotswood of South Carolina tried to prove in his attempt to take over the North Carolina colony), the authorities tracked down Hands in Bath and convinced him to testify against his companions and Governor Eden in exchange for his life.

In Treasure Island, Hands is one of Silver’s crew and ends up getting shot by Jim Hawkins. In this episode, we see him hold Silver captive in attempt to earn the ransom but he made one fatal error. Not tying Silver’s mouth. Silver is most dangerous when allowed to utter words and shackling up the silver tongued devil’s hands does no good.

Wenches Behaving Just Badly. Ugh. Someone get rid of Max already. Maybe Silver? Or Mario? Yes, Eleanor’s demise shall come by Anne’s hand and Max from Silver, Mario, or maybe even Madi. I like it. At least Silver recognized and called Max out on her own hypocrisy. What, she wears pretty dresses now, takes on airs, and we should believe she is righteous and just? Even Roger’s didn’t buy her brand of shit. Thankfully, we have our silver tongued devil to contradict her when she accused him of creating the shit storm roiling on New Providence. She and Eleanor shoveled plenty all on their own. Please. End my misery. I get Eleanor and her actions feel earned and she, at least seems to have some presence of mind for what she hath wrought and is maybe trying to atone in her own way, but we can’t forgive her, nope.

Romance or Bromance? Jack and Blackbeard can’t forgive Eleanor. The exchange between them and Anne ended the episode on a poignant and almost sentimental note, at least if Anne would have let the bros continue the Charles Vane adoration.

Deep Thoughts with Anne Bonny. Squee. Anne is great. Normally I give the best lines to Jack but Anne had the best arguments for why they needed to stay the course and go after Woodes Rogers. But would she still be able to maintain the same cool head if someone had taken out Jack? She even admits the same when retelling how Max tried to take him (Jack) away from her. I love these two. They slowly grew on me over the series as did Miranda, and then they shot her! Show, you are wicked.

Blackbeard is badass. How badass? We will find out I suppose. Woodes Rogers, rather deftly counted on them taking the bait so Eleanor could go running to her grand pappy. It’s no secret I’d sworn to hate Woodes Rogers but the man is growing on me and kudos to the writers and actor for bringing out the contradictions and subtlety that was this historical figure who brought the Nassau pirates to their knees.

Black Sails XXIX Recap

Posted on January 30, 2017 by admin

Black Sails has returned! For its final season 🙁

While I’m excited to see these characters again, I’m apprehensive about the fates of our scurvy crew. I don’t want to say good-bye yet respect goes out to the show creators for knowing when to end the story. More and more, shows tend to milk a series beyond its natural, respectable life and story and characters suffer for it.

If you haven’t read Treasure Island, the next paragraph contains some possible spoilers for Black Sails.

So last season wrenched my innards, seeing Charles Vane swing on the gallows and all, but well, he did in fact get hanged at Port Royal. And that is what makes me apprehensive about this season because nothing is going to end well for our cutthroats. The Golden Age of Piracy ends (pretty much with Woodes Rogers’s arrival in New Providence and Blackbeard’s death), but we also have the events of Treasure Island to consider. We’ve seen Silver transform into our beloved peg-legged Long John Silver. And Flint is already mad. He only lacks his stick.

Seriously show make it so. And Billy? Billy Bones. Sigh. I don’t know if Black Sails will give us a glimpse of Treasure Island’s beginning in its series finale but wouldn’t it be cool to leave us with Silver sidling up to Jim Hawkins? I’d rather see that than poor Billy’s bones.

So much for endings. Our premiere gave us a roaring start. Who doesn’t love a good battle to get the blood pounding…and spraying. Yikes. Pretty clever that Woodes Rogers. Sinking ships to create a barrier unbeknownst to our brigands.

Romance or Bromance? One of the highlights of this show has been the dynamic between Silver and Flint, sometimes allies, and sometimes at odds, outwitting each other, Flint by pure force of will, and Silver by cunning. Their conversation before getting blown to bits deserves its place among the many fine bromances but alas, ‘tis not to last forever. Of course, we know Silver didn’t drown and he will rejoin our anti-heroes but will it be in time to save his romance from the bromance? I mean, seriously, what was Madi thinking when she revealed to Flint and Billy that Silver told her the treasure’s location. That never ends well for people, when they get in Flint’s way.

Pirate History Check: As much as I’d love to hate on Woodes Rogers, the man displayed incredible determination and courage. He stood up to some formidable pirates, established order in New Providence all without much support from his peers. He did, in fact, overcome much adversity and did get deeply indebted as a result of having to finance his campaign in the Caribbean. This is the man who was a privateer during the war with France and Spain, who led an assault against a Spanish city, and had circumvented the world. I honestly don’t know what motivated him to take the actions he did only to get crapped on by the lords proprietor (businessmen and nobility who basically administered much of the Caribbean and some of the colonies.). He did them a favor by driving out the pirates. Yes, he was governor but acted pro bono. Now before I completely romanticize the man, he was a slave trader. I’ll leave it at that.

Wenches Behaving Bad-ass-ly? Oh, how the mighty have fallen, but you know, I just can’t forgive Eleanor for her role in Charles’s demise. Seeing her knitting with the other wives was classic. At least the show acknowledged Eleanor’s knowledge of her own capitulation. She sold her soul. I’m curious how much of her soul may be left, the girl running down the beach filled with pirates, not giving a damn about any of them. (If you remember Vane’s description of her from Season One.) And Max, come on honey. At least Eleanor has accepted the futility of a woman’s independence and power in the face of true British aristocracy. British nobility is a bitch Max. Get used to it. Maybe you can darn some wool socks. At least we still have Anne Bonny.

Deep thoughts with Jack Rackham. This show has given some of the best lines to Jack Rackham. However, this episode Blackbeard got in a good line at Rackham’s expense, when Rackham asked Blackbeard if they should say a few words to rouse the crew for battle. Blackbeard’s response was perfect, and very in line with what the real Blackbeard may have thought or said. I haven’t always agreed with the show’s portrayal of Blackbeard (Iron Beard), but Blackbeard ruled his ship by action, not words.

I do love, btw, all the love thrown Charles’s Vane’s way, from Jack to Blackbeard. In reality, Jack and Anne mutinied against Charles Vane and marooned him on an island. He was eventually picked up by the authorities and sent to Port Royal to be promptly hanged. So there you go. I like the show’s version better.

Blackbeard is badass. That’s right mo fos. Don’t fuck with Blackbeard. I got chills when Rogers’s man, Captain Berringer, or Mario Batalli, said Blackbeard is a formidable opponent. That’s right. Blackbeard was a literal fleet onto himself. The only pirate to blockade a major harbor for two weeks (Charleston). And he will kick your ass Mario. I’m waiting for it. Make it so, show! Especially after Mario cut off De Groot’s ear. De Groot has not always supported Flint, but he ain’t no snitch against the brethern. Stickin’ it to the man!

I honestly don’t know why Silver didn’t just pretend to be dead and then grab a dagger or cutlass off a dead body and shank whoever it was going around killing off the men washed up on shore, but then we wouldn’t have our cliffhanger. But seriously will he make it back before Flint kills Madi because, really, her days are numbered.

Black Sails Season Three…So Far

Posted on March 2, 2016 by admin

Fair winds! I had every intention of resuming Black Sails reviews at the start of Season Three. Alas, life got the better of me so instead I present a recap and thoughts on goings on so far. We are six episodes in (Episodes XIX through XXIV) with four more to go!

Last season had me at the first episode. Ned Low made a grand if bloody entrance and I’m still bummed he didn’t get to cause more mayhem. Episode one of this season did a good job of setting the stage, showing us the fates of our pirate brethren, where everyone stood. But the next few episodes, Flint separation from Nassau, wandering in the doldrums, just had me frustrated. When I saw the preview of XXII and Flint and crew’s apparent capture by island natives (now we know better; Great Scott, Mr. Scott!), I groaned and wondered if they’d wander into Pirates of the Caribbean territory. Flint works best for me when he’s interacting with other strong pirates like Vane. The sneers are in full force. However, the moments between Flint and Silver made up for some of the meandering and moved their relationship into a satisfying next phase. I admittedly cheered at the scene where they harpooned a shark. For those who have played Assassin’s Creed: Black Flag, you know what I’m talking about. Huzzah!

But let’s talk some more of our man of the sneer. Flint could probably convince someone to jump off a bloody bridge. Billy Bones agrees. He probably considered making the jump just to see if what Flint promised lay in the ocean depths. I mean, Flint’s line to Vane…you have to decide who you are…And Vane did, and he betrayed Teach…again.

I’m still traumatized by Miranda’s death so I’m glad they gave her ghost some time this season. Some tv shows kill off characters and don’t give enough space for the viewer and other characters to mourn. I didn’t much like her in Season One, but she became my favorite female character in Season Two. Loved her smack down of Eleanor (see in this recap).

Finally, episode XXIV gave me the confrontation I’d swab a deck for! Flint and Blackbeard. Ray Stevenson was a wonderful casting choice for our man of the beard. He has the physicality to play Blackbeard. I’m sorry, but John Malkovich just didn’t do it for me. See my thoughts on Crossbones here.

Okay, disclaimer first. I’m not buying everything the writers are throwing our way as far as Blackbeard. I mean, really, the Iron Man shrapnel? Was that intentional for some reason? I just don’t get it. What writer didn’t raise his or her hand and say, ah, guys, this smells too much of Iron Man and would come across as a weird, anachronistic reference.

I also didn’t get the opening scene of XIX where Teach killed his wife’s brothers. Or rather, I got it. They were trying to show us how badass Teach was, but it rang false for me. I’m pretty sure Teach would have tossed the brothers overboard and let them swim back to Bath. I don’t think he would have cared enough about those guys to bother killing them (or endanger the pardon he’d obtained from the North Carolina Governor).

Teach very smartly cultivated his dangerous persona, but, along with Sam Bellamy, there’s no record, in nearly 300 attacks on shipping between the two of them, of either Blackbeard or Bellamy killing a captive. (They may have roughed them up a bit.) Teach was shrewd but not reckless. It might have been better to “show us Blackbeard’s mettle” by giving us a scene based on a tale told by Captain Johnson in the General History of Pyrates. Apparently, while in one of his “savage humors” and without provocation, Blackbeard shot the Queen Anne’s Revenge’s master, Israel Hands’, knee. The explanation? Possibly to keep his crew in line, to keep them guessing so they wouldn’t dare challenge his authority. Ultimately though, Blackbeard, according to Angus Konstam in his book, Blackbeard, was a relatively benign pirate compared to Charles Vane, who, Konstam wrote, “seemed to take a psychopathic delight in torture and violence”. Lest we forget the lesson handed to Ned Low last season.

But everything else, I’m down. Charles Vane did serve on Teach’s crew before setting off on his own. Teach also had “settled down” in Bath for a spell. He supposedly bought a house after obtaining a pardon from the North Carolina Governor, Charles Eden. I read quite a bit about pirate escapades in the Carolinas for my Sargasso’s Mistress book and it’s quite interesting how much the pirates had insinuated themselves in Carolina trade and shenanigans, especially Teach. It’s also true he established a base of sorts at Ocracoke Island, where the pirates would sometimes gather to store loot and party.

On to Max, who has outlived her suspension of disbelief. Scenes with her just annoy me at this point. I’m all for creating strong women characters but not at the expense of the story and plausibility. Woodes Rogers would not have given her the time of day and the pirates on the island have absolutely no reason to listen to a damn thing she says. They have pardons. Their pirate leaders are gone. They just wouldn’t give a crap about Max. She has no legitimacy and for her to tell Woodes that she can control the peoples is silly. But wait, she has treasure! See next paragraph.

I also don’t think the Spanish would have given a rat’s ass about the missing portion of their treasure. (Nor would have Woodes Rogers for that matter, but more on him below.) Spain lost so much treasure to pirates and French, Dutch, British privateers. They’d cut their losses and run. At that point, they had a treaty with Britain and I doubt they would have endangered the truce by going after Nassau.

And Eleanor? Yeah, meh. I’m more invested in Anne Bonny at this point. I am, however, interested in seeing Eleanor cross paths with Vane and Flint and how that will play out. Will Flint convince her to betray Woodes Rogers or jump off the bloody bridge? Ultimately, I feel like her treads are wearing thin, like Max. I guess I’m still pissed at her for screwing Vane twice (in the bad way). I understood her motives but me no likey.

What Black Sails continues to do wonderfully is establish its pirates and their relationships to each other so I let my rumblings subside and lose myself once again in Billy Bones’s cut physique.

Tom Hopper is great as Billy. Not just for his hunked out bod either. No, I’m serious. Really.

So episode XXIV tied all those wonderful elements together, brought to fruition the wonderful ground they laid from the very beginning. Jack and Anne are awesome and should have their own adventures. The Bonny and Clyde of the seven seas. The writers and Jack sold me on his decision to fuck Woodes Rogers and I love how all he had to do was write a letter with enough nuance, trusting that Anne would read between the lines. And boy did she ever. Woodes still doesn’t know what he’s dealing with. Eleanor knows, but she can only give him so many worried looks. Me thinks he’s figured it out though.

So let’s talk Woodes Rogers. The pirate “utopia” of Nassau could only last so long, and knowing the history of the place, I wondered where they’d eventually go with the story given the eventual arrival of Woodes Rogers. The Golden Age of the Caribbean pirates began its decline with the fall of Nassau to Woodes Rogers. His arrival scattered the pirates and removed their power base.

Blackbeard attempted to establish new operations from North Carolina but was eventually killed in a cinema worthy battle with Lieutenant Maynard. Sam Bellamy died in a storm on his way to Maine. (I have been stoked with the two Sam Bellamy name drops this season!! I was so hoping they’d feature him, but no such luck.) And Vane and Jack? Well, I won’t spoil anything in case they decide to follow the history closely. Even though I mentioned my issues with the Spanish gold MacGuffin, Luke Robert’s portrayal of Woodes is fine (if not somewhat tame; see story below) and his interesting alliance with Eleanor. Woodes Rogers was a complex individual, who, if so inclined would have made a formidable pirate himself. A former privateer, according to Richard Sanders in If a Pirate I Must be, The True Story of “Black Bart”, in a battle, a musket ball tore off Rogers’ upper jaw, but he continued to issue orders on paper while spitting out his blood. Flint would be proud.

A couple of stray notes: Ben Gunn showed up this season! Of all the Treasure Island pirates, he actually has one of the best outcomes, and that’s all I’ll say, except maybe…cheese. And also, Long John Silver mentioned having a half black wife in Treasure Island, so in case you were wondering, yeah, I believe they are going there.

Honestly, I have no idea what fate is in store for Nassau, Anne and Jack, Woodes Rogers, Flint, the escaped slave colony led by Mr. Scott and his queen. (Who saw that coming?) Thankfully, Saturday is a few days away.

Black Sails Episode XVIII

Posted on March 28, 2015 by admin

For all the blood and violence we occasionally see on Black Sails, the scene of the Charles Town crowds throwing stuff at Miranda’s corpse horrified me the most. Poor Miranda. Onward to our intense and satisfying finale.

Long John slithers his way out of yet another flogging or keelhauling. Not this time. Silver’s tongue and double-dealing maybe caught up to him, showing us finally how Silver became our beloved Treasure Island peg-leg. Two painful scenes to behold: Vane’s man hacking away at his leg and his crew cutting it off. Thank the gods for anesthesia and modern medicine. Flint’s crew has certainly taken a shine to Silver, and I think it makes him uncomfortable. I don’t think he wants to feel loyalty, but he had no choice after they elected him quartermaster. I wonder how the crew will feel if they ever find out he was the one who sold information about the Urca gold to Max?

Number of Flint sneers. Flint gave Peter Ashe many sneers and the Governor deserved every last teeth gritting one. So what was his deal? Why did he betray Thomas, Flint, and Miranda? Was he jealous of Flint’s relationship with Thomas? And is he really dead?

Flint is brilliant, delusional, or downright scaring the crap out of me. As I kind of figured, Flint’s aspirations to reconcile with Ashe got blown to bits along with Miranda’s, ah, cerebrum. I see him going for that gold with a renewed sociopathic fervor. James McGraw died with Miranda.

On deck shenanigans. Lots of crazy shit, limbs being severed. Which crew would prevail? Or which leg? I was squinting through most of the onboard scenes, but Bones and Flint’s crew prevailed.

Wenches behaving bad-ass-ly. So Eleanor was out of the picture. Will we see her or her hanging corpse next season? Anne absolved herself in my eyes by finally resolving where her true loyalties lay. I still don’t quite understand what drove her to go all nutty and slit Mr. Logan’s throat, but the scene with her and Jack on his ship was nice. “You and I are going to be fucking partners until they put us in the ground.” A more direct, piratical way of saying ’til death do us part, yet Anne wants nothing of domesticity. None of the women on this show do. Kudos to them. Max is flying high right now, but me thinks a take down is in store.

Pirate history check. Charles Town became quite the prosperous colony, deriving much wealth from rice plantations, on the backs of the slaves, of course. While it was not sacked by pirates, Blackbeard blockaded it for two weeks in search of medical supplies, supposedly to treat his men afflicted with syphillis. The Spanish, occupying St. Augustine, raided settlements to the south of Charles Town, and the local Native American tribes often attacked the settlements.

Episode MBP (most badass pirate). In the spirit of mutual cooperation, I’m calling it a tie between Vane and Flint. I’m liking the temporary truce between the two. I know it won’t last long, well, at least until next year. Vane and Flint tore through Charles Town, manacled… manacled!!! Flint honored Miranda by not giving Ashe what he wanted, for Flint to admit to all his horrible crimes. Vane, my pirate Che Guevarra, brought hell fire down on the town after a rousing speech and with a very dramatic manacled hand raise.

I seriously had that song in my head when he raised his hands. Or we will rock you. Who wants to live forever? Any Queen song would have done nicely.

Billy Bones, Billy Bones is our true hero. Vane knew who he needed to convince to keep peace on the ship, and Billy, loyal to his pirate brethren, gave Vane the key to blasting Flint out of Charles Town. Who knew a girl’s journal could hold so much power?

Sorry Jack, Flint had the money quote this episode: “Everyone is a monster to someone.” He proceeds to shows how he would be Charles Town’s monster when he and Vane blow the place to bits and remind them “that they were right to be afraid.” I got me some chills when Flint spoke those words to Vane with a sneer, of course.

So now we have the gold. In Treasure Island, that gold ends up buried on an island so we know it will slip through many hands before then. Really, I just want to see Flint and Vane return and wipe the gold induced fever from Max’s eyes. I respect her, but I don’t like her.

So what’s in store for season 3? I chuckle gleefully. Black friggin beard. Even better. Ray Stevenson as Black friggin Beard!!! Yesssss. Sorry Crossbones, but thissss was what I wanted to see. And a fine beard it is. And given the complex portrayals of all the pirates, I hope Black Sails will do Blackbeard justice and show him as the wily, cunning, and rational scurvy dog he was!

Black Sails Episode XVII

Posted on March 22, 2015 by admin

The Natty Dreads were in full force this episode. I wonder, like Samson, if one were to cut off the dreads of Vane’s crew, would they too lose their bad-assery? Onward to Episode XVII and why there is no difference between you and me.

After a couple of slower, set up episodes, and Eleanor’s betrayal of Vane, yet again, the penultimate episode was a doozy and primed us for quite a finale, and with so many threads dangling, I wonder how I’ll even stand it until next week.

Long John slithers his way out of yet another flogging or keelhauling. Even Silver’s machinations were no match for Vane’s menace. Silver’s plan to “convince” Vane to turn over Flint’s ship didn’t work out so well for him, but Silver will live to swindle another day.

Number of Flint sneers. Not so many this episode as he was cozying up to his good old friend Peter Ash.

Flint is brilliant, delusional, or downright scaring the crap out of me. I think actually Ash scared the crap out of Flint, especially after his out of control, arse hole of a Colonel shot Miranda. Noooo! I didn’t like Miranda so much in season one, but this season she rocked it. Her back story fleshed her out and made her compelling. I am sad to see her go, but I think she had to die for Flint to lose the delusions and go full on scaring the crap out of me. So question is, will he completely ditch his plan to legitimize New Providence?

On deck shenanigans. So many of our cutthroats died when Vane took over Flint’s ship. The tattoed African dude. Is Mr. Scott still alive? We liked you Randall.

Wenches behaving bad-ass-ly. Miranda’s take down of Peter Ash was epic. Bastard took her clock. And Anne Bonny returned!

Eleanor…what to say? You messed up my man Vane. There is a certain hypocrisy in Eleanor. As much as she worked with pirates, she seemed to elevate herself above them. I suppose it came as a bit of a wake up call when Hornigold called her the “Queen of Thieves” (loved that!) then turned her in, confirming what Billy said on the ship to Vane. They don’t distinguish between the pirates and neither does the noose. Something Eleanor might discover. Miranda knew this. She knew that you couldn’t lord over people and break convention without it eventually coming back and biting you in the ass.

Pirate history check. Peter Ash’s Colonel Rhett, who shot Miranda, and set upon Flint like the rabid, scurvy dog he was makes me wonder if he is supposed to be the same Colonel Rhett who was sent by the Governor of South Carolina to hunt down Stede Bonnet. Bonnet was the gentleman pirate and had, on occasion, ridden along with Blackbeard. Bonnet wasn’t a very good pirate and was possibly a little loopy in the head. Rhett cornered him at Cape Fear and, after a cinematic showdown between Rhett and his two sloops and Bonnet’s sloop, Bonnet surrendered and was later hanged at Charles Town.

Episode MBP (most badass pirate). Once again Vane showed how he dominates by sheer force of will and strength. He led his men to take Flint’s ship and foiled Silver and his little henchman. His impassioned speech rallying the dreads to rescue Flint warmed the cockles of my heart. Dey gonna take down Babylon, de dreadlock Congo Bongos and chase dem crazy bald heads out of town. Honorable mention to Anne Bonny for saving Jack’s ass.

Billy Bones, Billy Bones is our true hero. One of my favorite scenes this episode was Billy telling his riggers they need to fix the broken rope (which Silver’s man cut). When they refused, after first having called them idiots, he called them good men and climbed the shrouds. It demonstrates Billy’s character, his commitment to his crew, and how ultimately he’s the man to get things done. Vane recognized Billy’s worth, tried to recruit him. And while Vane is a powerful pirate, Billy revealed to Vane his own short-sightedness, explaining how the British positioned themselves on a neighboring island to take over New Providence. He uttered the line, “There is no difference between you and me” referring to how the British viewed the pirates, which ultimately convinced Vane to rescue Flint.

Jack Rackham quote: In response to Max, when she asked him if he was hurt, he replied, “Mostly unscathed, thanks to Anne.” The relationship between those two is one of the best in the show. And thank you, Anne, for recognizing that Jack had little choice in excluding her from his crew. But all bets are off now and I look forward to seeing some on deck shenanigans when Anne and Jack take to the seas.

This episode earned ten blow my scuttlebutts for twists and turns and making me gasp when Rhett killed Miranda.

Until next week, I leave you with Natty Dread by Bob Marley:

Black Sails Episode XIV

Posted on March 1, 2015 by admin

Episode XIV raised the stakes in every way. I just loved it. The many intricate webs became even more tangled. Flint is juggling many flaming balls. It’s enough to drive one mad, unless you already are mad. So how did our scurvy crew do?

“Who shits for an hour?”

“I do.” Oh, Mr. Logan, I remember when you expressed concern for Billy Bones’s neglected cock in Season One, but when you charged off to the brothel against the wishes of crew and captain, I knew you were not long for this world.

Long John slithers his way out of yet another flogging or keelhauling. Silver missed his calling as a campaign manager. Anyway, Silver has to be nervous about the beloved Billy’s return, but it strengthens the epoxy of distrust binding him and Flint. Yet, Silver ain’t taking no chances. I just wonder how the secret between him and Max will play out.

Number of Flint sneers. We got some bloody sneers. Not only did Flint sneer at Hornigold, but he gave him some pretty obvious eye rolls.

I’d sneer at Hornigold too. My fort! My fort! My little piece of turf. Can you dig it people! (Historical Spoiler: When the Brits eventually do take back control of Nassau, Hornigold takes a pardon from the new governor and serves as his pirate hunter. ‘Es a bilge rat, that one.)

Flint is brilliant, delusional, or downright scaring the crap out of me. So, after some initial confusion from Episode XIII shockers, I believe he’s bi-sexual, and truly cares for Miranda. Seeing him and Miranda together now, after all the flashbacks, makes their present scenes just crackle. Flint seemed to come to terms with his past and present and asked Miranda if she’ll take him back, and they agreed to be partners.

On deck shenanigans. The parts involving Rackham and his need to prove himself to his crew were some of the best of the episode. Much was riding on this one prize and he knew it. When Jack and rival pirate captain, er, Linus, er Charles Manson, sat down to divvy up the spoils, I half expected them to break out the tea. It was a great moment showing another side to piracy not seen in stuff like Pirates of the Caribbean. I was however, waiting for someone to draw a cutlass. Sure enough, our cutthroats didn’t disappoint. Rackham’s no Charles Vane, but our man Jack has his own strengths and after he killed Manson, he freed the merchant crew so they could help fight the other pirate crew. And when Jack asked who would join him…the goat was the first to step up. This goat wants its rights attended to. No fucking goats on this crew.

Wenches behaving bad-ass-ly. Anne Bonny on the rampage. So yeah, Mr. Logan’s dick got the better of him. Anne is getting herself more and more entangled in Max’s thighs. And honestly, I’m getting a little annoyed with our Anne. Jack did not betray her. His crew voted on the articles, and, if he is to be their captain, he has to respect what the men voted on. She’s a pirate and she knows this! I believe we are going to get some Anne back story so maybe we’ll see some traumatic shit that will explain her psychotic episodes, or we can just chalk it up to Anne’s dark and wild “it”.

Aaah! What is Eleanor thinking??!! Sigh.

Pirate history check. Vane doesn’t care about legitimacy, but he knows once London gets control of Nassau, the pirates will be driven out. And he’s right. I loved some of his lines to Eleanor: “When I take something from a man…I don’t hide behind the law.” He’ll die before becoming another man’s slave again. This is the Vane we know from history or a fictional semblance of him. When pardons are finally offered to the pirates, Vane wants nothing to do with it and becomes a de facto leader of the more hard core pirates. With forces closing in on him, he escapes New Providence, literally guns blazing.

Episode MBP (most badass pirate). In the last recap I wrote that I was going to give it to whomever wins the fight between Vane and Flint. Gosh darn it Eleanor! Bad form interrupting a good brawl. Now whom do I choose? Sigh. We know who Eleanor chose. As much as I like the push and pull between Vane and Eleanor, how their passion drives them together and their loyalties and agendas drive them apart, the new wedge between them saddens me. The chemistry between those two is great. Oh, yeah, badass pirate. My man Jack, all the way. And his first mate or quartermaster? Who is that guy? He’s awesome too. He had to tell Jack the hard truth over why the men chose him as captain, not for his bad-assery, but because of Max’s intel.

Billy Bones, Billy Bones is our true hero. It was so nice to see Billy welcomed back by his crew. He informed them the British Navy is camped close by. How did he get away, they ask? Oh, the captain wasn’t looking and I tore off the shrinking leather, broke the chains that bind, and…oh…so yikes! The Brits are coming folks and they want Flint’s head on a stake and Billy and some of his pardoned merry men will ride off into the sunset. Because that’s about as likely to happen as Flint and Eleanor’s vision for Nassau.

Jack Rackham quote to Manson, er, rival pirate about his ship, the Goliath: “Your ship is named after the greatest disappointment in the history of warfare?”

Too many scuttle butts to count. Great episode!

Black Sails Episode XIII recap

Posted on February 22, 2015 by admin

I missed posting an Episode XII recap, but mostly our beloved cutthroats were moving chess pieces around before the fireworks began, and Episode XIII certainly delivered in more ways than one. So Flint’s deal is all about honoring his love for Miranda’s husband, Thomas, or dismissing his shame? It certainly brings a new and interesting element to Miranda’s relationship with Flint. The writers had us believing, at first, that Miranda was concerned about the repercussions of her affair with Flint, and I’m thinking, heck, lots of upper crusty Brits had affairs, but ah…no…we’s talking about the “profane” (according to Thomas’s dad) affair between Flint and Thomas. Apparently homosexual affairs led to hangings and imprisonment in the nasty Bedlam, where they probably tried to freeze or lobotomize the gay-ness right out. Poor Thomas.

I wonder how our pirates and Eleanor will feel if they ever discover Flint wants to turn New Providence into some utopian British society in honor of his lover…and not for pirate principals. Anyway, aside from forbidden love, this episode was all about the threesomes, starting with the opening scene.

Long John slithers his way out of yet another flogging or keelhauling. Billy Bones, like Flint, sees through Silver’s bs. The little power play between the two definitely set up some interesting dynamics for the future. Billy has come back from the dead a new man and he ain’t taking shit from anyone, and Randall likes him too, by god. (Although I have some reservations about Billy’s motives, but more on that later.)

Some of the exchanges between our threesome were priceless:

Silver: “I’m a hard man not to like.”

Randall: “We like him.”

Billy: “You are very dangerous or very stupid.”

Silver: “Possibly a bit of both.”

And when Silver contemplates offing Billy, Randall intervenes and warns Silver off: “We like him, too.”

Randall, the master of the understatement.

Number of Flint sneers. Folks, we may have seen the birth of the Flint sneer, over Miranda’s shoulder after they took Thomas away to Bedlam, which btw, was a pretty terrible place.

Flint is brilliant, delusional, or downright scaring the crap out of me. So all of this is because Flint is ashamed of his love for Thomas? Pissed he didn’t do more to save Thomas? This episode was key to revealing Flint’s psyche and while I’m still not convinced he isn’t completely mad, we see, at least he’s doing it for lurv.

Wenches behaving bad-ass-ly. This episode made me feel for Miranda and her plight. She wasn’t Thomas’ truest love and probably not Flint’s either. And in the end, Flint tells her he was ashamed that he listened to her instead of doing more to save Thomas. Ouch! But what? Storm Bedlam? Miranda was certainly the rationale one in that threesome.

This leads us to our final threesome of the episode. In Episode XII, Anne told Jack she wanted him to make sure Max didn’t get in between them, but really it’s too late and, I’m not sympathizing with Anne here. She gets pissed when Jack tells her the crew voted her out of a share, but Jack is behaving perfectly rational for a pirate captain and Anne should understand this. (Also, I have a hard time swallowing how a pirate crew would split shares with a brothel Madame and former prostitute no matter how much good Intel she’s bringing in.)

Pirate history check. So we got the big shocker this episode, but did pirates have sex on those long voyages? Granted Flint was not a pirate when he engaged in his extra-marital-male affair, but a technicality. Some of the 17^th Century buccaneers practiced what was called, matelotage, a type of social structure where two men shared property which may have extended to sexual relations. However, there is nothing in the records that outright state pirates had sexual relations among themselves, and I imagine, if it occurred, it was along the lines of “don’t ask, don’t tell”.

Episode MBP (most badass pirate). I’m going to give it to whomever wins the fight between Vane and Flint.

Billy Bones, Billy Bones is our true hero. So how did Billy Bones make it back to New Providence? He posed this very question to Silver, told him maybe he should be more concerned over what took him (Billy) out of the drink (after Flint most likely tossed him in). I had this very same question when he popped up on New Providence in Episode XII. Somehow Billy escaped from the shrinking leather? Me don’t think so. Our Billy Bones may turn out to be a double dealing knave.

Jack Rackham quote. I quite enjoyed see the prostitute sketching what would become Calico Jack Rackham’s flag, and the classic death’s head, pictured below, and Rackham’s subsequent line: “We all have the same swords, we all have the same guns, but great art has felled empires.”

Ten blow my scuttlebutts for “profane” love, three threesomes, and great art.

Black Sails Episode XI recap

Posted on February 8, 2015 by admin

So many exiting things happened this episode and they left us with Flint ready to fire upon Vane in the fort. I can’t stand it. So until then…

Long John slithers his way out of yet another flogging or keelhauling. Silver was pretty quiet this episode because of the focus on Vane, Flint’s return to New Providence, and more beheadings, but he did manage to convince Flint’s crew to forgo the vote on whether or not to go carousing on New Providence. Silver explained how sailing into the bay with Spanish markings on their canvas was maybe not such a wise idea.

Number of Flint sneers. One managed to sneak out when he was berating Eleanor for acquiescing to Vane. I believe Miranda might have sneered at Eleanor as well.

Flint is brilliant, delusional, or downright scaring the crap out of me. We learn he can be downright romantic. He leaves a book for Miranda with the words “I’m sorry” written on the inside cover. We learn their affair began over a Spanish copy of Don Quixote. Our sociopath is quite the man of letters. Not quite so romantic, however, when the New Providence pirates learned about Gate’s untimely demise. (Flint’s quartermaster who he killed in the first season.) Eleanor was pretty freaked out when she found out Flint had killed Gates. The pirates hold fine lines between brutality and outright evil fuckery and killing one of your own crew without justification falls into the evil f&%$# category as we learned after Anne Bonny and Jack killed members of their own crew.

Wenches behaving bad-ass-ly. Eleanor tried to get the upper hand on Miranda, calling her too unremarkable to warrant a mention from Flint, but Miranda has years of high-handed, British upper-class bitchiness under her belt and hands Eleanor her ass. Miranda knows what Flint’s demons whisper at night. I’d personally like to know what the both of them are smoking on that island, what local jimson weed causes one’s inner demons to whisper.

Miranda was quite the saucy wench. She basically seduced Flint back in London, showing up at his tidy apartment with very untidy thoughts. Back when women had little power, I hand it to those who took what they could, when they could. I especially liked when she told Flint about the whispers over her infidelities and how they didn’t bother her or her husband. Sooo, is she implying she has an open relationship with hubby? Or that hubby is oblivious? Time will only tell. Adding the flashbacks to Flint and Miranda’s past haven’t broken up the pacing at all and have only added more depth to these characters.

On deck shenanigans.

Vane’s crew of natty dreads pictured above (these guys are impressive in their natty-ness) carried out quite the efficient suprizal, sneaking aboard New Low’s ship and taking out the crew. It was quite satisfying when Low called out for Mr. Holmes after he gave Vane some shade about having to come to his ship alone because his crew don’t respect him no more. Mr. Holmes don’t work here anymore. Boo yah! Well played Vane.

Pirate history check. When Vane shows Eleanor Ned Low’s hostage, Eleanor tells him how Peter Ash, the Carolinas governor…(I’m a bit confused at the Carolinas lumping here because I believe both North and South Carolina were split into separate colonies in 1712) Anyway, Ash had hung men he even suspected of piracy. It was actually pretty difficult for a colonial governor to try a man for piracy. Governors needed permission from the king to hold a piracy trial under their own authority. Piracy trials were under the jurisdiction of the Vice Admiralty so most pirates had to be shipped off to London. (This legal loophole was later resolved by legislators in London.) Some governors claimed the ability to act as representatives of the Vice Admiralty, but that was a stretch. In fact, Governor Spotswood of Virginia tried William Howard, one of Blackbeard’s quartermasters. Howard actually had a lawyer and called upon him, but through some legal shenanigans on Spotswood’s part, his lawyer was banned from the trial. Spotswood tried and convicted Howard, but later he was released as a result of a pardon. (From Blackbeard by Angus Konstam)

Episode MBP (most badass pirate).

Vane has quite the flowery script, he does. Writing in blood must inspire the inner calligrapher, at least I’m thinking that was his ink of choice.

I’m sad to see Ned Low go even though it appears he existed to serve as a plot device, but we have Vane to give us the occasional beheading and savage reprisal when needed. Early in the episode, Low told Vane how he was an irrational blunt instrument with an instinct toward the extreme. Episode X, we learned how Flint has a dark, wild “it”. So while Low and Flint are ruled by their “its”, Vane appears to be more rational and calculating in handling his “it” or blunt instrument, unless Eleanor’s involved. His “it” tends to get pretty fired up then. In fact, the romance writer in me has a theory about Vane, especially after Max asked him if he wanted to know how she stopped caring about Eleanor, and he responded with a very firm negative. Last season, Vane told the story of how Eleanor used to sneak out to the beach and flaunt her little, 13 year-old self in front of the pirates, casting demure smiles that said, I own you. Well, one of those smiles stuck on Vane. It’s possible Vane holds on to his affection for Eleanor to keep him from going full on Ned Low psycho. Whatever the reason, ‘tis very intriguing.

Billy Bones, Billy Bones is our true hero. We didn’t see him get more tortured, thankfully. But I did come across an interview with Tom Hooper, who plays Billy, and he provides some interesting insights into what is coming for our Billy. http://www.tvguide.com/news/black-sails-billy-dead-1079026/

Jack Rackham quote. To Anne Bonny, “She [Max] knows how to play the thing between your legs better than I.” I called the threesome! Starz didn’t disappoint. Max got Vane to do some public displays of affection so Jack and Anne could return to piracy. I enjoyed the scene in which Jack and Anne lovingly discussed building their own crew, acquiring a piragua. I wonder, ultimately, what Max’s stake is in all this. Is she really that into Anne?

So Vane now has Low’s prized plunder in his possession, the daughter of Governor Peter Ash of the Carolinas. Anyway, we glimpsed Charleston (Charles Town at the time), South Carolina in the season teasers. My second pirate book is partly set in the Carolinas around this time, so I’m excited to see Charles Town portrayed.

Eight blow my scuttlebutts because plot device Ned Low is gone, but overall awesomeness!

Black Sails Episode X

Posted on February 1, 2015 by admin

Episode IX left me wondering: How will Flint take back his command? Will Vane blast him out of the water when he returns to New Providence? Whose lips will Ned Low remove? Why don’t they name each episode?

We got some answers to these pressing questions, but not to the show’s Roman numeral naming convention. A good name for episode X would have been Don’t Fuck the Dairy Goat. But more on that later. The pacing this season has been breath-stealing. Many major plot issues were resolved in this episode. I thought they’d make us wait until mid-season to see Billy Bones. Squee! But I suspect the pirates have many more heads to sever with a rusty cutlass and they really can’t waste time on trivial matters.

I was worried about Mr. Meeks. I didn’t think he was going to last the episode. I couldn’t tear my eyes from his lips. (See previous review with background on real life pirate, Edward Low)

Long John slithers his way out of yet another flogging or keelhauling. Silver suffered quite a bit while trying to make Flint’s former crew turn against each other, but he didn’t let a few well-thrown punches deter him. He learned in the orphanage that it’s not about getting others to like you, it’s reminding others how much they dislike each other. We also learned Silver didn’t want to be a pirate. Sadly, his destiny is set, and, as his Treasure Island future self said, “Them dat die ‘ill be the lucky ones”.

Number of Flint sneers. He was sneer-less, not even after giving the order to fire and stealing Dufresne’s thunder. In fact, I believe the British aristocrat officers in the London tavern scene threw a few sneers Flint’s way.

Flint is brilliant, delusional, or downright scaring the crap out of me. I loved the lines from Flint’s Commodore or Admiral in the London flashback. (Don’t really know what his commander’s rank was.) Anyway, after Flint kicked British Lord butt in the tavern scene, his commander told him: “That thing which arises in you when passions are aroused. Good sense escapes you. All men have it, but yours is different. Darker. Wilder. I imagine it’s what makes you so effective as an officer. But when exposed to extremes, I could not imagine what it is capable of.”

Dufresne knows what “it” is capable of. Dufresne, you about to get your butt whipped, and Flint, your manipulation is a wonder to behold. First, he stroked Dufresne’s ego, told him how he’d known the man of letters, Dufresne, would be a good addition to the crew. Then, for Dufresne’s own good, he gave him a piece of sage tactical advice. Don’t take the eastern route back to New Providence, and tempt the crew with a fat, merchant vessel out of Kingston. And, of course, what did Dufresne do? He sailed east and pursued a prize. Did Flint actually want Dufresne to not sail east to keep Dufresne from successfully capturing a prize, and look good in front of the crew? Or did he gamble on Dufresne not taking his advice, sailing east, taking a prize, and failing miserably? I say the latter. Flint, yer a canny bastard. Flint orchestrated the death and destruction of his own crew to get his captaincy back. Is it possible a man could do such a thing, asks Dufresne? Why yes. Just ask Flint’s former commander about his dark and wild thing. Oh, and Miranda too.

Wenches behaving bad-ass-ly. Eleanor is in quite the pickle. Many factions are closing in on her. The newly formed Rackham, Max, and Anne triumvirate or threesome for one. Wonder when we’ll see that, eh, Starz? Add to that, Low’s frightening obsession with her. And what will Vane do? Anne seems genuinely torn between her passion for Max and obligations/feelings for Rackham. In historical records, Anne did sail off with Captain Calico Jack Rackham, along with Mary Read. When Rackham’s drunken crew encountered a privateer, who was hunting Calico Jack, they were easily subdued. Most of the pirates fled for the hold while Anne and Mary joined the fight to repel the privateers. Read called on the pirates to “come up and fight like men.” (from Daniel Defoe’s A General History of the Pirates)

On deck shenanigans. Pirate articles covered everything from prohibitions on gambling, share of spoils, and health insurance. Not sure I’ve come across a prohibition on beastiality. Flint’s crew forgot that one as well. But me thinks they’re going to add it now. Forget stealing food or wiping one’s arse with one’s hand. People, don’t fuck the dairy goat…or piss off the cook.

Pirate history check. Not really, but I’d like to make an appeal to restore one 18^th Century tradition of starting meetings with the “Account of Goings On”. Volume the first, on this first day of February, in the year Two-thousand and fifteen. Weather is quite pleasant. Stomp feet. John was playing Candy Crush on his work computer. Jane was dozing in the break room. I think much office gossip could be deflated if we just aired the scuttlebutt from the get go.

Episode MBP (most badass pirate). While simply uttering Vane’s name kept a pirate from getting arrested, and while Flint is a master manipulator, Low wins out for sheer, gut-wrenching brutality. Bringing him on the show was a stroke of genius. The dude is unhinged. I was clenching my blanky in all of his scenes, wondering when the axe murderer in him was going to break loose. Loved it. And the actor who plays him is doing a great job. I bet he’s a really nice guy in real life, like the kid who played Joffrey Baratheon in Game of Thrones. Mr. Meeks, I knew you were not long for this world. Until Meeks’ head rolled, we didn’t see what Lowe was doing to him, but, oh, we heard it with sticky, wet, flesh-rending clarity.

Billy Bones, Billy Bones is our true hero. I knew it! Opening scene. But, why did they have to torture him? Pirates did some nasty things, oh no, that was the British Royal Navy, and the Spaniards, who came up with the foul technique employed by the Naval officer torturing our Billy. The Spaniards did concoct the Inquisition, after all. I’m pretty sure I’d take water boarding over being shrink-wrapped in leather and left on the beach to cook. I suppose the scenario was a combination of water boarding and death by leather.

Jack Rackham quotes. Jack was pretty subdued this episode. Actually he was pretty heart-breaking, as much as a pirate can be. So I have to hand over best quote to Randall, the cook. “I don’t like him.” Silver learned quite a bit from a man who barely speaks.

The first season got off to a slow start, spending the first few episodes establishing the characters. While the pacing was deliberate, it really paid off. Now, we have episode after episode of tense situations, and I’m invested in what will happen to each character, even the crazy bastards.

A full 10 out of 10 blow my scuttlebutts because, gosh darn it, Billy Bones is back! And for unmentionable acts with dairy goats.

Mimi Sebastian

On the dark side of love

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