Black Sails Season Three…So Far

Posted on March 2, 2016 by admin

Fair winds! I had every intention of resuming Black Sails reviews at the start of Season Three. Alas, life got the better of me so instead I present a recap and thoughts on goings on so far. We are six episodes in (Episodes XIX through XXIV) with four more to go!

Last season had me at the first episode. Ned Low made a grand if bloody entrance and I’m still bummed he didn’t get to cause more mayhem. Episode one of this season did a good job of setting the stage, showing us the fates of our pirate brethren, where everyone stood. But the next few episodes, Flint separation from Nassau, wandering in the doldrums, just had me frustrated. When I saw the preview of XXII and Flint and crew’s apparent capture by island natives (now we know better; Great Scott, Mr. Scott!), I groaned and wondered if they’d wander into Pirates of the Caribbean territory. Flint works best for me when he’s interacting with other strong pirates like Vane. The sneers are in full force. However, the moments between Flint and Silver made up for some of the meandering and moved their relationship into a satisfying next phase. I admittedly cheered at the scene where they harpooned a shark. For those who have played Assassin’s Creed: Black Flag, you know what I’m talking about. Huzzah!

But let’s talk some more of our man of the sneer. Flint could probably convince someone to jump off a bloody bridge. Billy Bones agrees. He probably considered making the jump just to see if what Flint promised lay in the ocean depths. I mean, Flint’s line to Vane…you have to decide who you are…And Vane did, and he betrayed Teach…again.

I’m still traumatized by Miranda’s death so I’m glad they gave her ghost some time this season. Some tv shows kill off characters and don’t give enough space for the viewer and other characters to mourn. I didn’t much like her in Season One, but she became my favorite female character in Season Two. Loved her smack down of Eleanor (see in this recap).

Finally, episode XXIV gave me the confrontation I’d swab a deck for! Flint and Blackbeard. Ray Stevenson was a wonderful casting choice for our man of the beard. He has the physicality to play Blackbeard. I’m sorry, but John Malkovich just didn’t do it for me. See my thoughts on Crossbones here.

Okay, disclaimer first. I’m not buying everything the writers are throwing our way as far as Blackbeard. I mean, really, the Iron Man shrapnel? Was that intentional for some reason? I just don’t get it. What writer didn’t raise his or her hand and say, ah, guys, this smells too much of Iron Man and would come across as a weird, anachronistic reference.

I also didn’t get the opening scene of XIX where Teach killed his wife’s brothers. Or rather, I got it. They were trying to show us how badass Teach was, but it rang false for me. I’m pretty sure Teach would have tossed the brothers overboard and let them swim back to Bath. I don’t think he would have cared enough about those guys to bother killing them (or endanger the pardon he’d obtained from the North Carolina Governor).

Teach very smartly cultivated his dangerous persona, but, along with Sam Bellamy, there’s no record, in nearly 300 attacks on shipping between the two of them, of either Blackbeard or Bellamy killing a captive. (They may have roughed them up a bit.) Teach was shrewd but not reckless. It might have been better to “show us Blackbeard’s mettle” by giving us a scene based on a tale told by Captain Johnson in the General History of Pyrates. Apparently, while in one of his “savage humors” and without provocation, Blackbeard shot the Queen Anne’s Revenge’s master, Israel Hands’, knee. The explanation? Possibly to keep his crew in line, to keep them guessing so they wouldn’t dare challenge his authority. Ultimately though, Blackbeard, according to Angus Konstam in his book, Blackbeard, was a relatively benign pirate compared to Charles Vane, who, Konstam wrote, “seemed to take a psychopathic delight in torture and violence”. Lest we forget the lesson handed to Ned Low last season.

But everything else, I’m down. Charles Vane did serve on Teach’s crew before setting off on his own. Teach also had “settled down” in Bath for a spell. He supposedly bought a house after obtaining a pardon from the North Carolina Governor, Charles Eden. I read quite a bit about pirate escapades in the Carolinas for my Sargasso’s Mistress book and it’s quite interesting how much the pirates had insinuated themselves in Carolina trade and shenanigans, especially Teach. It’s also true he established a base of sorts at Ocracoke Island, where the pirates would sometimes gather to store loot and party.

On to Max, who has outlived her suspension of disbelief. Scenes with her just annoy me at this point. I’m all for creating strong women characters but not at the expense of the story and plausibility. Woodes Rogers would not have given her the time of day and the pirates on the island have absolutely no reason to listen to a damn thing she says. They have pardons. Their pirate leaders are gone. They just wouldn’t give a crap about Max. She has no legitimacy and for her to tell Woodes that she can control the peoples is silly. But wait, she has treasure! See next paragraph.

I also don’t think the Spanish would have given a rat’s ass about the missing portion of their treasure. (Nor would have Woodes Rogers for that matter, but more on him below.) Spain lost so much treasure to pirates and French, Dutch, British privateers. They’d cut their losses and run. At that point, they had a treaty with Britain and I doubt they would have endangered the truce by going after Nassau.

And Eleanor? Yeah, meh. I’m more invested in Anne Bonny at this point. I am, however, interested in seeing Eleanor cross paths with Vane and Flint and how that will play out. Will Flint convince her to betray Woodes Rogers or jump off the bloody bridge? Ultimately, I feel like her treads are wearing thin, like Max. I guess I’m still pissed at her for screwing Vane twice (in the bad way). I understood her motives but me no likey.

What Black Sails continues to do wonderfully is establish its pirates and their relationships to each other so I let my rumblings subside and lose myself once again in Billy Bones’s cut physique.

Tom Hopper is great as Billy. Not just for his hunked out bod either. No, I’m serious. Really.

So episode XXIV tied all those wonderful elements together, brought to fruition the wonderful ground they laid from the very beginning. Jack and Anne are awesome and should have their own adventures. The Bonny and Clyde of the seven seas. The writers and Jack sold me on his decision to fuck Woodes Rogers and I love how all he had to do was write a letter with enough nuance, trusting that Anne would read between the lines. And boy did she ever. Woodes still doesn’t know what he’s dealing with. Eleanor knows, but she can only give him so many worried looks. Me thinks he’s figured it out though.

So let’s talk Woodes Rogers. The pirate “utopia” of Nassau could only last so long, and knowing the history of the place, I wondered where they’d eventually go with the story given the eventual arrival of Woodes Rogers. The Golden Age of the Caribbean pirates began its decline with the fall of Nassau to Woodes Rogers. His arrival scattered the pirates and removed their power base.

Blackbeard attempted to establish new operations from North Carolina but was eventually killed in a cinema worthy battle with Lieutenant Maynard. Sam Bellamy died in a storm on his way to Maine. (I have been stoked with the two Sam Bellamy name drops this season!! I was so hoping they’d feature him, but no such luck.) And Vane and Jack? Well, I won’t spoil anything in case they decide to follow the history closely. Even though I mentioned my issues with the Spanish gold MacGuffin, Luke Robert’s portrayal of Woodes is fine (if not somewhat tame; see story below) and his interesting alliance with Eleanor. Woodes Rogers was a complex individual, who, if so inclined would have made a formidable pirate himself. A former privateer, according to Richard Sanders in If a Pirate I Must be, The True Story of “Black Bart”, in a battle, a musket ball tore off Rogers’ upper jaw, but he continued to issue orders on paper while spitting out his blood. Flint would be proud.

A couple of stray notes: Ben Gunn showed up this season! Of all the Treasure Island pirates, he actually has one of the best outcomes, and that’s all I’ll say, except maybe…cheese. And also, Long John Silver mentioned having a half black wife in Treasure Island, so in case you were wondering, yeah, I believe they are going there.

Honestly, I have no idea what fate is in store for Nassau, Anne and Jack, Woodes Rogers, Flint, the escaped slave colony led by Mr. Scott and his queen. (Who saw that coming?) Thankfully, Saturday is a few days away.

Black Sails Episode XIII recap

Posted on February 22, 2015 by admin

I missed posting an Episode XII recap, but mostly our beloved cutthroats were moving chess pieces around before the fireworks began, and Episode XIII certainly delivered in more ways than one. So Flint’s deal is all about honoring his love for Miranda’s husband, Thomas, or dismissing his shame? It certainly brings a new and interesting element to Miranda’s relationship with Flint. The writers had us believing, at first, that Miranda was concerned about the repercussions of her affair with Flint, and I’m thinking, heck, lots of upper crusty Brits had affairs, but ah…no…we’s talking about the “profane” (according to Thomas’s dad) affair between Flint and Thomas. Apparently homosexual affairs led to hangings and imprisonment in the nasty Bedlam, where they probably tried to freeze or lobotomize the gay-ness right out. Poor Thomas.

I wonder how our pirates and Eleanor will feel if they ever discover Flint wants to turn New Providence into some utopian British society in honor of his lover…and not for pirate principals. Anyway, aside from forbidden love, this episode was all about the threesomes, starting with the opening scene.

Long John slithers his way out of yet another flogging or keelhauling. Billy Bones, like Flint, sees through Silver’s bs. The little power play between the two definitely set up some interesting dynamics for the future. Billy has come back from the dead a new man and he ain’t taking shit from anyone, and Randall likes him too, by god. (Although I have some reservations about Billy’s motives, but more on that later.)

Some of the exchanges between our threesome were priceless:

Silver: “I’m a hard man not to like.”

Randall: “We like him.”

Billy: “You are very dangerous or very stupid.”

Silver: “Possibly a bit of both.”

And when Silver contemplates offing Billy, Randall intervenes and warns Silver off: “We like him, too.”

Randall, the master of the understatement.

Number of Flint sneers. Folks, we may have seen the birth of the Flint sneer, over Miranda’s shoulder after they took Thomas away to Bedlam, which btw, was a pretty terrible place.

Flint is brilliant, delusional, or downright scaring the crap out of me. So all of this is because Flint is ashamed of his love for Thomas? Pissed he didn’t do more to save Thomas? This episode was key to revealing Flint’s psyche and while I’m still not convinced he isn’t completely mad, we see, at least he’s doing it for lurv.

Wenches behaving bad-ass-ly. This episode made me feel for Miranda and her plight. She wasn’t Thomas’ truest love and probably not Flint’s either. And in the end, Flint tells her he was ashamed that he listened to her instead of doing more to save Thomas. Ouch! But what? Storm Bedlam? Miranda was certainly the rationale one in that threesome.

This leads us to our final threesome of the episode. In Episode XII, Anne told Jack she wanted him to make sure Max didn’t get in between them, but really it’s too late and, I’m not sympathizing with Anne here. She gets pissed when Jack tells her the crew voted her out of a share, but Jack is behaving perfectly rational for a pirate captain and Anne should understand this. (Also, I have a hard time swallowing how a pirate crew would split shares with a brothel Madame and former prostitute no matter how much good Intel she’s bringing in.)

Pirate history check. So we got the big shocker this episode, but did pirates have sex on those long voyages? Granted Flint was not a pirate when he engaged in his extra-marital-male affair, but a technicality. Some of the 17^th Century buccaneers practiced what was called, matelotage, a type of social structure where two men shared property which may have extended to sexual relations. However, there is nothing in the records that outright state pirates had sexual relations among themselves, and I imagine, if it occurred, it was along the lines of “don’t ask, don’t tell”.

Episode MBP (most badass pirate). I’m going to give it to whomever wins the fight between Vane and Flint.

Billy Bones, Billy Bones is our true hero. So how did Billy Bones make it back to New Providence? He posed this very question to Silver, told him maybe he should be more concerned over what took him (Billy) out of the drink (after Flint most likely tossed him in). I had this very same question when he popped up on New Providence in Episode XII. Somehow Billy escaped from the shrinking leather? Me don’t think so. Our Billy Bones may turn out to be a double dealing knave.

Jack Rackham quote. I quite enjoyed see the prostitute sketching what would become Calico Jack Rackham’s flag, and the classic death’s head, pictured below, and Rackham’s subsequent line: “We all have the same swords, we all have the same guns, but great art has felled empires.”

Ten blow my scuttlebutts for “profane” love, three threesomes, and great art.

Black Sails Episode X

Posted on February 1, 2015 by admin

Episode IX left me wondering: How will Flint take back his command? Will Vane blast him out of the water when he returns to New Providence? Whose lips will Ned Low remove? Why don’t they name each episode?

We got some answers to these pressing questions, but not to the show’s Roman numeral naming convention. A good name for episode X would have been Don’t Fuck the Dairy Goat. But more on that later. The pacing this season has been breath-stealing. Many major plot issues were resolved in this episode. I thought they’d make us wait until mid-season to see Billy Bones. Squee! But I suspect the pirates have many more heads to sever with a rusty cutlass and they really can’t waste time on trivial matters.

I was worried about Mr. Meeks. I didn’t think he was going to last the episode. I couldn’t tear my eyes from his lips. (See previous review with background on real life pirate, Edward Low)

Long John slithers his way out of yet another flogging or keelhauling. Silver suffered quite a bit while trying to make Flint’s former crew turn against each other, but he didn’t let a few well-thrown punches deter him. He learned in the orphanage that it’s not about getting others to like you, it’s reminding others how much they dislike each other. We also learned Silver didn’t want to be a pirate. Sadly, his destiny is set, and, as his Treasure Island future self said, “Them dat die ‘ill be the lucky ones”.

Number of Flint sneers. He was sneer-less, not even after giving the order to fire and stealing Dufresne’s thunder. In fact, I believe the British aristocrat officers in the London tavern scene threw a few sneers Flint’s way.

Flint is brilliant, delusional, or downright scaring the crap out of me. I loved the lines from Flint’s Commodore or Admiral in the London flashback. (Don’t really know what his commander’s rank was.) Anyway, after Flint kicked British Lord butt in the tavern scene, his commander told him: “That thing which arises in you when passions are aroused. Good sense escapes you. All men have it, but yours is different. Darker. Wilder. I imagine it’s what makes you so effective as an officer. But when exposed to extremes, I could not imagine what it is capable of.”

Dufresne knows what “it” is capable of. Dufresne, you about to get your butt whipped, and Flint, your manipulation is a wonder to behold. First, he stroked Dufresne’s ego, told him how he’d known the man of letters, Dufresne, would be a good addition to the crew. Then, for Dufresne’s own good, he gave him a piece of sage tactical advice. Don’t take the eastern route back to New Providence, and tempt the crew with a fat, merchant vessel out of Kingston. And, of course, what did Dufresne do? He sailed east and pursued a prize. Did Flint actually want Dufresne to not sail east to keep Dufresne from successfully capturing a prize, and look good in front of the crew? Or did he gamble on Dufresne not taking his advice, sailing east, taking a prize, and failing miserably? I say the latter. Flint, yer a canny bastard. Flint orchestrated the death and destruction of his own crew to get his captaincy back. Is it possible a man could do such a thing, asks Dufresne? Why yes. Just ask Flint’s former commander about his dark and wild thing. Oh, and Miranda too.

Wenches behaving bad-ass-ly. Eleanor is in quite the pickle. Many factions are closing in on her. The newly formed Rackham, Max, and Anne triumvirate or threesome for one. Wonder when we’ll see that, eh, Starz? Add to that, Low’s frightening obsession with her. And what will Vane do? Anne seems genuinely torn between her passion for Max and obligations/feelings for Rackham. In historical records, Anne did sail off with Captain Calico Jack Rackham, along with Mary Read. When Rackham’s drunken crew encountered a privateer, who was hunting Calico Jack, they were easily subdued. Most of the pirates fled for the hold while Anne and Mary joined the fight to repel the privateers. Read called on the pirates to “come up and fight like men.” (from Daniel Defoe’s A General History of the Pirates)

On deck shenanigans. Pirate articles covered everything from prohibitions on gambling, share of spoils, and health insurance. Not sure I’ve come across a prohibition on beastiality. Flint’s crew forgot that one as well. But me thinks they’re going to add it now. Forget stealing food or wiping one’s arse with one’s hand. People, don’t fuck the dairy goat…or piss off the cook.

Pirate history check. Not really, but I’d like to make an appeal to restore one 18^th Century tradition of starting meetings with the “Account of Goings On”. Volume the first, on this first day of February, in the year Two-thousand and fifteen. Weather is quite pleasant. Stomp feet. John was playing Candy Crush on his work computer. Jane was dozing in the break room. I think much office gossip could be deflated if we just aired the scuttlebutt from the get go.

Episode MBP (most badass pirate). While simply uttering Vane’s name kept a pirate from getting arrested, and while Flint is a master manipulator, Low wins out for sheer, gut-wrenching brutality. Bringing him on the show was a stroke of genius. The dude is unhinged. I was clenching my blanky in all of his scenes, wondering when the axe murderer in him was going to break loose. Loved it. And the actor who plays him is doing a great job. I bet he’s a really nice guy in real life, like the kid who played Joffrey Baratheon in Game of Thrones. Mr. Meeks, I knew you were not long for this world. Until Meeks’ head rolled, we didn’t see what Lowe was doing to him, but, oh, we heard it with sticky, wet, flesh-rending clarity.

Billy Bones, Billy Bones is our true hero. I knew it! Opening scene. But, why did they have to torture him? Pirates did some nasty things, oh no, that was the British Royal Navy, and the Spaniards, who came up with the foul technique employed by the Naval officer torturing our Billy. The Spaniards did concoct the Inquisition, after all. I’m pretty sure I’d take water boarding over being shrink-wrapped in leather and left on the beach to cook. I suppose the scenario was a combination of water boarding and death by leather.

Jack Rackham quotes. Jack was pretty subdued this episode. Actually he was pretty heart-breaking, as much as a pirate can be. So I have to hand over best quote to Randall, the cook. “I don’t like him.” Silver learned quite a bit from a man who barely speaks.

The first season got off to a slow start, spending the first few episodes establishing the characters. While the pacing was deliberate, it really paid off. Now, we have episode after episode of tense situations, and I’m invested in what will happen to each character, even the crazy bastards.

A full 10 out of 10 blow my scuttlebutts because, gosh darn it, Billy Bones is back! And for unmentionable acts with dairy goats.

Black Sails is Back – Review

Posted on January 25, 2015 by admin

Season Two of Black Sails has begun and I shall savor it until Outlander comes back. The eight Outlander episodes did not even whet my appetite for some Jamie Fraser. Sigh. But dinna fash!! says my inner fan girl because we get this:

We have plenty o’ historical man flesh in Charles Vane, Long John Silver, Captain Flint…(plenty o’ woman flesh too 🙂

Last season’s final episode was fantastic. It was full of ass whooping and handing all around. Vane handed over Hornigold’s ass, Flint got some ass handed to him, and I’m sure Jack Rackham was concerned about getting anymore Anne Bonny ass after the New Providence pirates found out Rackham and Bonny murdered members of their own crew.

I’m waiting for my Billy Bones to come back. I know he will. He’s in Treasure Island. I know he will. (If I write it enough times, he will come)

I came up with what I hope is a more fun way of reviewing/recapping, all leading up to a final Blow My Scuttlebutt Rating for the episode. So onward to episode IX.

Long John slithers his way out of yet another flogging or keelhauling. This dude has more lives than a flea bitten feline. He volunteers to join Flint in capturing the Spanish ship (to which Flint sneers, see below), and while they sneak about the companionway where the Spanish crew are sleeping, he not only catches a bottle before it wakes anyone, but he steals the alarm whistle hanging right above a sleeping man’s head.

Number of Flint sneers. In watching the show, I found his sneers are in proportion to his current predicament. When he’s in charge and confident, it’s full sneer ahead. This episode contained about four sneers. A low count for Flint, but he’s fighting his way back to his captaincy. I particularly liked the one where he tells, Dufresne, that his former crew can F off for siding with a cowardly, sniveling shit of a mutineer. Those pirates were poetic. That just rolls off the tongue.

Flint is brilliant, delusional, or downright scaring the crap out of me. I’m going with brilliant this episode, but dude below is probably going with delusional, especially when Flint proposes they capture the Spanish warship anchored off shore. That is a serious scar tattoo, btw.

Wenches behaving bad-ass-ly. Max has evolved quite a bit since we first met her in season one. From sex slave to throwing shade against her former lover, Eleanor, now she’s got her sights set on Anne Bonny. But her stunt in giving information to Ned Low about the Good Fortune (like, not!) was quite the play. Eleanor was banking on another pirate, Hallandale, getting that prize. Max is stepping up her game and show she’s not down with Eleanor’s power trip. Bring it on.

On deck shenanigans. Lots of them, from Flint raiding the Spanish ship to Ned Low’s massacre of the Good Fortune‘s crew. (Wow. What an unfortunate name) I mean seriously, steer clear of any vessel named Good Fortune. You’re better off sailing on The Misfortune, or like, The Bad News Pirates.

Pirate history check. So we meet Ned Low, who appears to be based off of Edward Low, and from the historical accounts, was just as much an unrepentant sadist. The real Low reputedly tortured some prisoners by cutting off their lips before killing them. But that was an amuse bouche really. (Ha, amuse bouche…) Afterwards, he massacred over 60 Spanish prisoners before fleeing north toward the American coast. Based on the Black Sails Low’s story of cutting out someone’s tongue, seems they plan to draw on the historical Low’s brutal reputation. You don’t need to make this shit up.

Episode MBP (Most Badass Pirate). It’s between Low and Flint with honorable mention to Vane’s derriere. Flint, with a reluctant, Silver in tow, boarded the Spanish ship and almost single-handedly took it over. The man just don’t mess around And really, he looks quite dashing in His Majesty’s Navy blues. I’m excited to see his backstory, meeting Miranda, and what events led him and Miranda to New Providence.

Jack Rackham quote: He gets the best lines. After he gets the crap kicked out of him and the pirates, ah, relieved themselves on him, he encounters Anne in the brothel and tells her what happened, ending with: “They pissed on me.”

Billy Bones, Billy Bones is our true hero. Alas, Billy hasn’t shown up yet but who is this new dude playing Dufresne? Apparently, the actor is Roland Reed, replacing Jannes Eiselen. Something about this actor’s beady eyes that rub me wrong. The old Dufresne had puppy dog eyes that just drew me in even when he was plotting against my favorite sociopath, Flint.

9 out of 10 Blow My Scuttlebutts: eight for lots of action plus one for unconventional pirate urinary habits.

Mimi Sebastian

On the dark side of love

Tag Archives: Flint

Black Sails Season Three…So Far

Black Sails Episode XIII recap

Black Sails Episode X

Black Sails is Back – Review