Black Sails XXIX Recap

Black Sails has returned! For its final season 🙁

While I’m excited to see these characters again, I’m apprehensive about the fates of our scurvy crew. I don’t want to say good-bye yet respect goes out to the show creators for knowing when to end the story. More and more, shows tend to milk a series beyond its natural, respectable life and story and characters suffer for it.

If you haven’t read Treasure Island, the next paragraph contains some possible spoilers for Black Sails.

So last season wrenched my innards, seeing Charles Vane swing on the gallows and all, but well, he did in fact get hanged at Port Royal. And that is what makes me apprehensive about this season because nothing is going to end well for our cutthroats. The Golden Age of Piracy ends (pretty much with Woodes Rogers’s arrival in New Providence and Blackbeard’s death), but we also have the events of Treasure Island to consider. We’ve seen Silver transform into our beloved peg-legged Long John Silver. And Flint is already mad. He only lacks his stick. 

Seriously show make it so. And Billy? Billy Bones. Sigh. I don’t know if Black Sails will give us a glimpse of Treasure Island’s beginning in its series finale but wouldn’t it be cool to leave us with Silver sidling up to Jim Hawkins? I’d rather see that than poor Billy’s bones.

So much for endings. Our premiere gave us a roaring start. Who doesn’t love a good battle to get the blood pounding…and spraying. Yikes. Pretty clever that Woodes Rogers. Sinking ships to create a barrier unbeknownst to our brigands.

Romance or Bromance? One of the highlights of this show has been the dynamic between Silver and Flint, sometimes allies, and sometimes at odds, outwitting each other, Flint by pure force of will, and Silver by cunning. Their conversation before getting blown to bits deserves its place among the many fine bromances but alas, ‘tis not to last forever. Of course, we know Silver didn’t drown and he will rejoin our anti-heroes but will it be in time to save his romance from the bromance? I mean, seriously, what was Madi thinking when she revealed to Flint and Billy that Silver told her the treasure’s location. That never ends well for people, when they get in Flint’s way.

Pirate History Check: As much as I’d love to hate on Woodes Rogers, the man displayed incredible determination and courage. He stood up to some formidable pirates, established order in New Providence all without much support from his peers. He did, in fact, overcome much adversity and did get deeply indebted as a result of having to finance his campaign in the Caribbean. This is the man who was a privateer during the war with France and Spain, who led an assault against a Spanish city, and had circumvented the world. I honestly don’t know what motivated him to take the actions he did only to get crapped on by the lords proprietor (businessmen and nobility who basically administered much of the Caribbean and some of the colonies.). He did them a favor by driving out the pirates. Yes, he was governor but acted pro bono. Now before I completely romanticize the man, he was a slave trader. I’ll leave it at that.

Wenches Behaving Bad-ass-ly? Oh, how the mighty have fallen, but you know, I just can’t forgive Eleanor for her role in Charles’s demise. Seeing her knitting with the other wives was classic. At least the show acknowledged Eleanor’s knowledge of her own capitulation. She sold her soul. I’m curious how much of her soul may be left, the girl running down the beach filled with pirates, not giving a damn about any of them. (If you remember Vane’s description of her from Season One.) And Max, come on honey. At least Eleanor has accepted the futility of a woman’s independence and power in the face of true British aristocracy. British nobility is a bitch Max. Get used to it. Maybe you can darn some wool socks. At least we still have Anne Bonny.

Deep thoughts with Jack Rackham. This show has given some of the best lines to Jack Rackham. However, this episode Blackbeard got in a good line at Rackham’s expense, when Rackham asked Blackbeard if they should say a few words to rouse the crew for battle. Blackbeard’s response was perfect, and very in line with what the real Blackbeard may have thought or said. I haven’t always agreed with the show’s portrayal of Blackbeard (Iron Beard), but Blackbeard ruled his ship by action, not words.

I do love, btw, all the love thrown Charles’s Vane’s way, from Jack to Blackbeard. In reality, Jack and Anne mutinied against Charles Vane and marooned him on an island. He was eventually picked up by the authorities and sent to Port Royal to be promptly hanged. So there you go. I like the show’s version better.

Blackbeard is badass. That’s right mo fos. Don’t fuck with Blackbeard. I got chills when Rogers’s man, Captain Berringer, or Mario Batalli, said Blackbeard is a formidable opponent. That’s right. Blackbeard was a literal fleet onto himself. The only pirate to blockade a major harbor for two weeks (Charleston). And he will kick your ass Mario. I’m waiting for it. Make it so, show! Especially after Mario cut off De Groot’s ear. De Groot has not always supported Flint, but he ain’t no snitch against the brethern. Stickin’ it to the man!

I honestly don’t know why Silver didn’t just pretend to be dead and then grab a dagger or cutlass off a dead body and shank whoever it was going around killing off the men washed up on shore, but then we wouldn’t have our cliffhanger. But seriously will he make it back before Flint kills Madi because, really, her days are numbered.

Black Sails Episode XIV

Episode XIV raised the stakes in every way. I just loved it. The many intricate webs became even more tangled. Flint is juggling many flaming balls. It’s enough to drive one mad, unless you already are mad. So how did our scurvy crew do?

“Who shits for an hour?”

“I do.” Oh, Mr. Logan, I remember when you expressed concern for Billy Bones’s neglected cock in Season One, but when you charged off to the brothel against the wishes of crew and captain, I knew you were not long for this world.

Long John slithers his way out of yet another flogging or keelhauling. Silver missed his calling as a campaign manager. Anyway, Silver has to be nervous about the beloved Billy’s return, but it strengthens the epoxy of distrust binding him and Flint. Yet, Silver ain’t taking no chances. I just wonder how the secret between him and Max will play out.

Number of Flint sneers. We got some bloody sneers. Not only did Flint sneer at Hornigold, but he gave him some pretty obvious eye rolls.

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I’d sneer at Hornigold too. My fort! My fort! My little piece of turf. Can you dig it people! (Historical Spoiler: When the Brits eventually do take back control of Nassau, Hornigold takes a pardon from the new governor and serves as his pirate hunter. ‘Es a bilge rat, that one.)

Flint is brilliant, delusional, or downright scaring the crap out of me. So, after some initial confusion from Episode XIII shockers, I believe he’s bi-sexual, and truly cares for Miranda. Seeing him and Miranda together now, after all the flashbacks, makes their present scenes just crackle. Flint seemed to come to terms with his past and present and asked Miranda if she’ll take him back, and they agreed to be partners.

On deck shenanigans. The parts involving Rackham and his need to prove himself to his crew were some of the best of the episode. Much was riding on this one prize and he knew it. When Jack and rival pirate captain, er, Linus, er Charles Manson, sat down to divvy up the spoils, I half expected them to break out the tea. It was a great moment showing another side to piracy not seen in stuff like Pirates of the Caribbean. I was however, waiting for someone to draw a cutlass. Sure enough, our cutthroats didn’t disappoint. Rackham’s no Charles Vane, but our man Jack has his own strengths and after he killed Manson, he freed the merchant crew so they could help fight the other pirate crew. And when Jack asked who would join him…the goat was the first to step up. This goat wants its rights attended to. No fucking goats on this crew.Screen Shot 2015-03-01 at 9.13.16 AM

Wenches behaving bad-ass-ly. Anne Bonny on the rampage. So yeah, Mr. Logan’s dick got the better of him. Anne is getting herself more and more entangled in Max’s thighs. And honestly, I’m getting a little annoyed with our Anne. Jack did not betray her. His crew voted on the articles, and, if he is to be their captain, he has to respect what the men voted on. She’s a pirate and she knows this! I believe we are going to get some Anne back story so maybe we’ll see some traumatic shit that will explain her psychotic episodes, or we can just chalk it up to Anne’s dark and wild “it”.

Aaah! What is Eleanor thinking??!! Sigh.

Pirate history check. Vane doesn’t care about legitimacy, but he knows once London gets control of Nassau, the pirates will be driven out. And he’s right. I loved some of his lines to Eleanor: “When I take something from a man…I don’t hide behind the law.” He’ll die before becoming another man’s slave again. This is the Vane we know from history or a fictional semblance of him. When pardons are finally offered to the pirates, Vane wants nothing to do with it and becomes a de facto leader of the more hard core pirates. With forces closing in on him, he escapes New Providence, literally guns blazing.

Episode MBP (most badass pirate). In the last recap I wrote that I was going to give it to whomever wins the fight between Vane and Flint. Gosh darn it Eleanor! Bad form interrupting a good brawl. Now whom do I choose? Sigh. We know who Eleanor chose. As much as I like the push and pull between Vane and Eleanor, how their passion drives them together and their loyalties and agendas drive them apart, the new wedge between them saddens me. The chemistry between those two is great. Oh, yeah, badass pirate. My man Jack, all the way. And his first mate or quartermaster? Who is that guy? He’s awesome too. He had to tell Jack the hard truth over why the men chose him as captain, not for his bad-assery, but because of Max’s intel.

Billy Bones, Billy Bones is our true hero. It was so nice to see Billy welcomed back by his crew. He informed them the British Navy is camped close by. How did he get away, they ask? Oh, the captain wasn’t looking and I tore off the shrinking leather, broke the chains that bind, and…oh…so yikes! The Brits are coming folks and they want Flint’s head on a stake and Billy and some of his pardoned merry men will ride off into the sunset. Because that’s about as likely to happen as Flint and Eleanor’s vision for Nassau.

Jack Rackham quote to Manson, er, rival pirate about his ship, the Goliath: “Your ship is named after the greatest disappointment in the history of warfare?”

Too many scuttle butts to count. Great episode!

Black Sails Episode XIII recap

I missed posting an Episode XII recap, but mostly our beloved cutthroats were moving chess pieces around before the fireworks began, and Episode XIII certainly delivered in more ways than one. So Flint’s deal is all about honoring his love for Miranda’s husband, Thomas, or dismissing his shame? It certainly brings a new and interesting element to Miranda’s relationship with Flint. The writers had us believing, at first, that Miranda was concerned about the repercussions of her affair with Flint, and I’m thinking, heck, lots of upper crusty Brits had affairs, but ah…no…we’s talking about the “profane” (according to Thomas’s dad) affair between Flint and Thomas. Apparently homosexual affairs led to hangings and imprisonment in the nasty Bedlam, where they probably tried to freeze or lobotomize the gay-ness right out. Poor Thomas.

I wonder how our pirates and Eleanor will feel if they ever discover Flint wants to turn New Providence into some utopian British society in honor of his lover…and not for pirate principals. Anyway, aside from forbidden love, this episode was all about the threesomes, starting with the opening scene.

Long John slithers his way out of yet another flogging or keelhauling. Billy Bones, like Flint, sees through Silver’s bs. The little power play between the two definitely set up some interesting dynamics for the future. Billy has come back from the dead a new man and he ain’t taking shit from anyone, and Randall likes him too, by god. (Although I have some reservations about Billy’s motives, but more on that later.)

Some of the exchanges between our threesome were priceless:

Silver: “I’m a hard man not to like.”

Randall: “We like him.”

Billy: “You are very dangerous or very stupid.”

Silver: “Possibly a bit of both.”

And when Silver contemplates offing Billy, Randall intervenes and warns Silver off: “We like him, too.”

Randall, the master of the understatement.

Number of Flint sneers. Folks, we may have seen the birth of the Flint sneer, over Miranda’s shoulder after they took Thomas away to Bedlam, which btw, was a pretty terrible place.

Flint is brilliant, delusional, or downright scaring the crap out of me. So all of this is because Flint is ashamed of his love for Thomas? Pissed he didn’t do more to save Thomas? This episode was key to revealing Flint’s psyche and while I’m still not convinced he isn’t completely mad, we see, at least he’s doing it for lurv.

Wenches behaving bad-ass-ly. This episode made me feel for Miranda and her plight. She wasn’t Thomas’ truest love and probably not Flint’s either. And in the end, Flint tells her he was ashamed that he listened to her instead of doing more to save Thomas. Ouch! But what? Storm Bedlam? Miranda was certainly the rationale one in that threesome.

This leads us to our final threesome of the episode. In Episode XII, Anne told Jack she wanted him to make sure Max didn’t get in between them, but really it’s too late and, I’m not sympathizing with Anne here. She gets pissed when Jack tells her the crew voted her out of a share, but Jack is behaving perfectly rational for a pirate captain and Anne should understand this. (Also, I have a hard time swallowing how a pirate crew would split shares with a brothel Madame and former prostitute no matter how much good Intel she’s bringing in.)

Pirate history check. So we got the big shocker this episode, but did pirates have sex on those long voyages? Granted Flint was not a pirate when he engaged in his extra-marital-male affair, but a technicality. Some of the 17th Century buccaneers practiced what was called, matelotage, a type of social structure where two men shared property which may have extended to sexual relations. However, there is nothing in the records that outright state pirates had sexual relations among themselves, and I imagine, if it occurred, it was along the lines of “don’t ask, don’t tell”.

Episode MBP (most badass pirate). I’m going to give it to whomever wins the fight between Vane and Flint.

Billy Bones, Billy Bones is our true hero. So how did Billy Bones make it back to New Providence? He posed this very question to Silver, told him maybe he should be more concerned over what took him (Billy) out of the drink (after Flint most likely tossed him in). I had this very same question when he popped up on New Providence in Episode XII. Somehow Billy escaped from the shrinking leather? Me don’t think so. Our Billy Bones may turn out to be a double dealing knave.

Jack Rackham quote. I quite enjoyed see the prostitute sketching what would become Calico Jack Rackham’s flag, and the classic death’s head, pictured below, and Rackham’s subsequent line: “We all have the same swords, we all have the same guns, but great art has felled empires.”

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Ten blow my scuttlebutts for “profane” love, three threesomes, and great art.